I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
