and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
