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Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
