I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
