just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
