wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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