It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
