I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
