did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
