Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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