Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
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