I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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