Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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