she was so not down for the gang bang
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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