I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
you would pick up someone in the library
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize
