I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
