Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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