So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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