break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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