he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
