I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize