it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
