Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
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