I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
All I want is dick and wine.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
