We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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