i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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