my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
