The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
