So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
i need some magic done to my vagina
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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