think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
it hurts more in the daytime
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
