my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
