I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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