used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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