If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
