we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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