so explain again why im purple
no
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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