i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
