is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
