Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
