how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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