I can tuck mytits in my pants
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
