just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
