I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
