Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
