She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
