Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Sorry my hands just texted you
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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