He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
