I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
