Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You've changed since you got that strap on
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
where are my pants?
in the oven.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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