What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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