I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Im part way to drunk.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
