It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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