I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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